people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
