I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
