How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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