i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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