Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
