we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
