do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize