Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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