if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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