I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize