I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
