If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
