Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize