I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
