from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
