So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
