So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize