HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
