All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
What a dumb baby whore.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
