thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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