Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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