You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
