We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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