She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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