Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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