Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
