Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
