Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
