i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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