I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
