i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
