Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
