Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize