They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
