I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
