I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
