I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
