so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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