oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
