It's Friday. Sex?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
