Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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