He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So much rum. So many feels.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
