i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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