Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
