it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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