i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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