I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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