I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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