Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my phone needs a breathalizer
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
