I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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