I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
