i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
