don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
