He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
