I just threw up on my dentist
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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