This girl is more easily done than said...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
