she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
