he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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