Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I understand Curling. That high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
