Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
